passages

12.31.2021



Here we are about to welcome a new year (even though the calendar says that starts tonight, Solstice has come to feel more like the start of a new year to me, as it marks the start of the slow passage through darkness into light) and I think we're all ready for it.  It's been a rough year for many, perhaps for most, and I'm hoping 2022 holds better things for everyone.  

Last night was a night of very little sleep.  I laid in bed for hours, ears pricked to every sound, eyes wide open watching the wind in the tree branches just outside the bedroom window.  When I finally drifted off, I had strange dreams.  One was full of moths, toads, and an orange tabby kitten.  In another, I found a mountain of tiny bird eggs in varying intensities of blue resting in a large nook of a tree near the barn at my childhood home.  (Those blues again, like the snakes I dreamt of in May.)  A hole in the nook was a passage to the heart of the tree.  Are these dreams showing me grief and hope as the year winds down?  Danger and new beginnings?  Showing me where to find comfort or ways to let things go?  I'm always looking for meaning in my always weird dreams, but maybe they're just the crazy dreams of a restless night.  The second one has really stuck with me today, but I'll be thinking about both of these for a while.

I've been thinking about daily practices and what I give my time and attention to.  Someone gave me a beautiful nature journal a couple of years ago and I'm ashamed to say I never got started with it, but I've done nature journals in the past (given to me by that some wonderful someone) and it's a lovely, lovely way to walk through the world, observing the seasonal changes.  I gave a copy to a couple of friends for Solstice and I hope that we all find, as they say, that the more attention we give to something {nature}, the more sacred it becomes to us and the more we will do to ensure its care.  

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slow notes:  

  • I shed some tears for more than one reason when reading this, at Terrain.org.   Orca rituals and celebrations - so beautiful.  "Have we reached it yet?  The point where we circle up and take turns, holding and pushing a collective grief?  The day we leave our denial behind and come up for air?  On this dimming horizon, with everything on the line, can a matriline rise?  Embracing a maternal instinct to protect lives beyond our individual fingerprints, willing to die in the process like the Chinook guarding their eggs? Can we gather like the J-Pod and hold what is precious—centered in moonlight—even as the moon moves?" - Christina Rivera Cogswell 
  • Speaking of moths, this, from the Aeon+Psyche newsletter. 

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As far as intentions or goals, I do have a few that I'll write about later.  I could say that I'd like to do more of this or change that, but I think that mostly I'll just take one day at a time and do what feels right in the moment.  I'd like to keep my attention on the present and savor what is happening right now.  Despite damn COVID and heartbreak and tragedy (I don't want to diminish what has been lost, and some have lost so much), there are still sweet and wonderful moments and discoveries happening all the time in the world around us, and I hope we can see past the detritus and notice all we can.  

Wishing you peace, much love, wonder, joy, and good health in the year to come.  xx 


2 comments :

  1. My dreams seem to always involve people...and my failures. Ugh. I want to dream of snakes and moths. I watched the moth video you linked a couple of times and it made me cry! So, so beautiful. Thank you for that!

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    Replies
    1. I'm so glad you liked it! Thank you so much for taking the time to let me know. ♥︎ I wish you dreams of sweet forest creatures and all kinds wonderful, mysterious things. x

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by mlekoshi