dream journal / 1


May 5, 2021

All my life I've had dreams that leave me feeling unsettled the next day.  Those I can't quite remember but still manage to stick with me all day are perhaps the most disturbing, like fingers pulling on my consciousness to drag me back into the dimly lit, abandoned, and vaguely apocalyptic environment of my usual dreams.  But over the weekend I had two dreams that, if not sweet dreams, were beautiful, thought-provoking, and filled with vivid color and light.    

In the first, I was walking on a narrow trail up an open, dry, golden grassy hill, the evening sun casting shadows and deepening colors.  I stopped for a moment and saw snakes at my sandaled feet - the most beautiful snakes I've ever seen - lapis blue, with a lighter sky blue stripe right down the center of their heads and backs.  There were tiny ones and large ones.  I somehow knew they were harmless and was unafraid.  As I looked up the hill in front of me there were hundreds of them flinging themselves up toward the sky in what felt like an act of unrestrained joy.  Awestruck, I couldn't move.

In the second dream, I saw an old woman sitting on the far side of a large dark room.  I very slowly moved toward her.  She was very wrinkled, her eyes barely visible.  As I got closer, her skin began to change into something that made me think of the surface texture of the skin of an elephant.  Still closer, her skin started to appear reptilian, then like feathers.  Even though she still had a pale color, other colors seemed to be coming up from beneath the surface.  A deep rosy flush spread down from her temples to her cheeks.  A beautiful translucent emerald green slowly encircled and spread out around her eyes, like watercolor as it hits the paper.  Her eyes, now unobstructed, focused, and clear, held my gaze, silently saying, "You can see me now.  This is who I've always been."  

I have my own ideas about these dreams, their timing, and what they are saying to me, but I'm sure they could be interpreted in many different ways.  And maybe they were just some crazy dreams (but I don't really believe that).

by mlekoshi