9.30.2014

turning


Autumn is here.  Leaves have begun to turn glorious colors and fall to the ground.  The evenings are cozy and long.  Darkness falls earlier and earlier.  At night I leave the bedroom window open to listen to the rain and smell the woodsmoke from the neighbor's chimney.  Everything is so delicious.  It's the best time of year.  

I'm so happy to be back in this house, and with fall comes an intense desire to nest.  I finally painted my office/sewing room last weekend.  I'm a bit disheartened, as the medium gray I chose turned out a very dark gray-brown, not a color I would have chosen.  Re-primering and re-painting is not really what I want to do at this point, so I'm trying to decide if I can just live with it over the winter and then change it in spring.  Who knows, it may grow on me.  I do love dark, cozy little rooms.  On to other projects.  I've dug out my stash of yarn, dusted off my crochet hook, and am looking for a project.  I picked up a remnant at the fabric store last weekend - I've been thrifting fabric for so many years that I'm completely shocked at the price of even a small remnant, but I would really like to sew more of my clothes again and am excited to get things set up in my new/old room. 

With nesting has come more reading.  I just finished The Snow Child by Eowyn Ivey, which I liked but didn't love, and have just started Burial Rites by Hannah Kent, about a young woman accused of murder in 1800s Iceland.  What are you reading?  Any recommendations? 

The boy has settled into school and made several new friends, and for that I am so happy.  But it seems that we are a point where he fights me on anything and everything.  He is happy much of the time, but I am frustrated and sad when I'm met with strong resistance, angry words, or worse, "leave me alone."  It feels like he is 9 going on 15.  His tendency to frustration is something I so understand, but his reaction to that - acting out - is something I don't relate to as I react completely differently, with silent internalization.  His way may be healthier, but I'm at a loss sometimes how to comfort or calm him.  

We haven't been out in the trees as much lately and that is something my soul needs, and whether he thinks so or not, the boy's soul needs it as well.  Nature therapy is so important for all of us.  I long to be in the damp forest, walking through fallen leaves, collecting branches and feathers and rocks - treasures I love more than anything I could go out and buy.  I want to follow my boys on a trail we've never been on to see where it goes.  I want to camp in the cold.  I think it's time to get out our bows and arrows again.

So, there are always ups and there are always downs (and my downs are so insignificant compared to those of some others' in this world), but there is always hope and there is always comfort in each new season, the changes in our lives, and the simple things that bring us joy.  We keep on turning.

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